A guy is having a midlife crisis- his wife divorced him and took the kids ,hes getting gray ,losing his hair and getting a pot belly . His buddy tells him he needs to get a new start. So he joins a health club and loses the gut . He goes to the hair stylist and gets a dye job for the sides and a new toupee. He looks good. His buddy fixes him up with his wifes trashie girlfriend who has a reputation for screwing anything in pants. He is a little nervous as he has not dated in 20 years so he decides to just take her to the movies on the first date. He picks her up and they go to the movie. Its going great they are sitting there in the dark and he has his arm around her . Suddenly he sneezes and the new toupee flys off his head. Embarassed she will see.He trys to descretely feel around with his other hand and find it. He slides his hand up between her legs by mistake and she whispers"Thats it- yeah baby- thats it right there" he says "No, I don't part Mine down the middle."