> >From a web forum...
>
> BUSH LAYS OFF CONGRESS! WILL OUTSOURCE LAWMAKING TO INDIA.
>
> Citing the growing cost of running the Federal government and the need
> to
> cut costs in order to reduce the budget deficit, President Bush
> announced
> today that he was laying off all 535 members of Congress and
> transferring
> lawmaking operations to a legislative support center in Bangalore,
> India.
>
> "Hey, outsourcing is the way to go these days," said Bush at an
> impromptu
> news conference where he announced the decision, adding, "the American
> people want to see less government waste. Since every one of those
> ex-Congressmen had a salary of $150,000, this move will cut our costs by
>
> over $80 million per year, and that's not even counting what we'll save
> on
> health insurance and retirement plans."
>
> Sources indicate that the Indian replacements will be paid approximately
>
> $250 per month. The outcry from the newly laid-off Senators and
> Representatives was swift. Ex-California Sen. Diane Feinstein said,
> "This is
>
> absolutely outrageous. How can a bunch of replacements over in India run
>
> Congress? What do they know about filibusters and committee hearings,
> lobbyists, fact finding junkets, pork barreling and PAC contributions?"
>
> As she was being escorted out of the Hart Senate Office Building by US
> Capitol Police officers, Feinstein complained that the newly terminated
> lawmakers were only given 10 minutes to clean out their desks and leave
> the
> building. "I think it's a great idea," said Vice President Dick Cheney,
> speaking from a secure, undisclosed location. "The American people were
> fed up with that expensive do-nothing Congress which didn't give the
> president everything he asked for. Our new Indian replacements will be
> much
> more cooperative to the President, which is what we all want."
>
> Asked whether the outsourcing may be un-Constitutional, Cheney noted,
> "That's up to the Supreme Court to decide. But they never pay much
> attention
>
> to the Constitution anyway. To them it's a 'living document' that will
> be
> different every day."
>
> The new members of Congress seem thrilled with the attention they are
> receiving. Speaking from the offices of All-India Legislative Support
> Centre
>
> Ltd. in Bangalore, new Mississippi Senator Ramchandra Shektar Gupta told
>
> reporters, "The Indian people are very hard working and we will do our
> best
> as US Congressmen and Congresswomen. And we are going to have some fun
> too.
> Just think: we have $2 trillion of the American taxpayers' money to
> spend!"
>

Probably couldn't do any worse than the current congress