One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in

despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so
glum?"

The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinking man?" "Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."

"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink.
Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till
we throw up and then we drink some more!"

The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."

"You a smoker?" the demon asked. "You better believe it!"

"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the
world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already
dead, remember?" "Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"

The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." "Why yes, as a matter of
fact I do."

"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker,
slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into
drugs?" The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."

"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of
crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the
drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"

"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never
realized Hell was such a cool place!"

The demon said, "You gay?" "No."

"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"