Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from
such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The
garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You
can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the
truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to
another gas station restroom because this one is just
too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental-$100. People never stare at
your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are
over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You
can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for
the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have
strap problems in public. You are unable to see
wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face
stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face
and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly
usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair
of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear
shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.