Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron, standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, dropping the club and putting her hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?

"I don't know -- put me down for a five."

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart
attack.

"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines-up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting?"

"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly. They found a doctor on the 2nd hole and he's coming to help you."

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.

"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

A travelling salesman has an open spot and goes for 18 holes.
Sometime after tee off he looses count and asks a pretty girl if she knows what hole they are playing.
She says i'm playing hole number 5 and you are one hole after me so you must be playing 4.
Sometime later the instance repeats itself.

At the 19 hole he offers her a drink and asks what she does for a living.
She wont tell and says that he will only laugh so she mutes.
He pushes on and she offers to tell if he promishes not to laugh.
He swears and she says: I'm a travelling salesman in sanitary pads.
He spews a mouthfull of beer through the room and bursts out laughing.
She gets annoyed and says: You promished not to laugh.
He says: I'm sorry, but i'm a travelling samesman and i sell toilet paper so technically i'm still a hole behind you!

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?

"The young man says, "An 8-iron,
father, how about you?

"The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft 7, and pray.

"The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."

So every Saturday, come rain or shine this guy goes golfing with his mate, George. One Saturday morning the guy returns home absolutely dripping. "How was it dear?" says the wife. "Just awful. George had a heart attack on the 3rd hole." "My goodness, that is awful!" says wifey. "What did you do?!" "It was just horrible," says our man. "All morning long, hit the ball, drag George. Hit the ball, drag George..."