MART ASS ANSWER

It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.


SMART ASS ANSWER

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'


SMART ASS ANSWER

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'


SMART ASS ANSWER

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


SMART ASS ANSWER

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knew it, the bridge was right in front of him and his truck got wedged under it. Cars backed up for miles. Finally a police car came up. The policeman got out of his car, walked to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'


SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 !!

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering...
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

my ex-inlaws were having a playful arguement one evening, finally the mother inlaw said, "Darrell if you don't stop, I'm gonna cut you off" with out missing a beat the father inlaw says, "you gotta find out where I'm gettin' it first".

Smart Ass Answer
There was a flight attendant who was processing a very long line of passengers tickets. There was a grumpy passenger half way back in line that kept shouting at her the reasons why she should let him go to the head of the line and get on the plane.

Finally she stopped and said, "Sir! You are just going to have to be patient and wait in line just like the rest of our customers!"

The guy threw down his bags and screamed, Oh yea, WELL SCREW YOU!"

Without missing a beat she informed him, "There is a waiting line for that too and it is even longer than the one you are in and moves even slower!"