A man returns from a trip to Shanghai

and is feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor

and is immediately rushed to the

hospital to undergo a series of tests.


The man wakes up after these tests in a

private room at the hospital

and the phone by his bed rings.


"This is your doctor,"

says the voice on the phone.

"We have the results back from your tests.

I'm sorry to report that

you have an extremely

contagious deadly disease known as

G.A.S.H."

"G.A.S.H?"

replies the man.

"What in the hell is that?"

"It's a combination of

Gonorrhea,

AIDS,

SARS and

Herpes"

explains the doctor.

"My gosh, Doc!"

screams the man in a panic,

"what are we going to do?"

"Well we're going to put you on a strict diet of

pizza, pancakes, quesadillas and pita bread,"

says the doctor matter-of-factly.

"Will that cure me?"

"Well no,"

says the doctor,

"but it's the only food that will fit under the door."

Bon appetit !

Sounds like my symptoms!