The economy is so bad that:


I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford
fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf. (Insert rim-shot here)

My ATM gave me an IOU!

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife,

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 235 words.

They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally...... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a
call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and
asked if I could drive a truck...