Man calls his Rabbi, says he's sure his wife is going to poison him. Rabbi says give me her phone number, let me talk to her, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Rabbi calls him back later, says I just talked to your wife for three hours on the phone. My advice is to take the poison.

Oy Vay! Husband rolls in at the end of the day + says "Ruth,you don't have to worry about getting pregnant,I just went out + bought a condominium."