These three guys, a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American are all on a cruise ship out in the South Pacific when the boat sinks in a bad storm.

The three men manage to all cling to a part of the railing that broke off and make it to the shore of an island somewhere.

They're all totally exhausted and fall asleep on the beach. When they wake up, they're surrounded by cannibals.

The cannibal chief walks out in front of his tribe and tells the three men that his tribe is very thankful they've arrived, and that the tribe is going to kill and eat the men, and tan their skin to make a hide canoe to fish with.

He tells the men that as a token of honor and appreciation to the spirits, he will let each of them choose how they will die, and let the men kill themselves for the glory of the tribe.

The Frenchman asks to go first, and says "Just bring me a pistol". The cannibals come up with a pistol from somewhere and hand it to the Frenchman, who promptly puts the gun against his head and shouts "Vive Le France!", and blows his brains out.

The Englishman, not wanting to be outdone by a Frenchman, asks for a sword. The cannibals offer him one, and he exclaims "God save the Queen!", then falls on his sword, dying instantly.

The American just sneers at them and says, "Just bring me a fork." The cannibals find a fork and bring it to him, and the American immediately starts stabbing himself with it over and over ... stabbing his arms, chest, legs, back, neck, just viciously everywhere he can reach, sneering at the cannibal tribe the whole time.

Meanwhile the cannibals are getting concerned and feel bad for the man. They've never seen anyone kill themselves in such a cruel or horrible fashion. Finally, the tribe just can't take any more and the chief goes up to the American in concern and asks him what he's doing, that there's no way he could kill himself like that and why is he torturing himself that way.

The American just grins back at him. So much for your canoe you son of a *****.