Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when
you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with
a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's
all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That
hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like
your wife told you to do it?

And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up
sky diving!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons
is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of
your three best friends, if they're okay, then .................