This morning I was beaten up by a woman...I was in an elevator when this busty woman got in.
I was staring at her boobs, when she said, would you please press 1... So I did.
I don't remember much afterwards.

She asked for it. I think she owes you an apology. (That's why women are so confusing.)

My years of experience have taught me to immediately go into deer-in-the-headlights mode when confronted with an offer from a good looking woman. I even hesitate if my wife makes me an offer.

I have an old friend that says "At my age I'd rather be promised than offered."