I boarded my flight to Boston and took my seat. As I settled in, I glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane, and she was heading straight towards me. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside mine. Eager to strike up a conversation, I asked. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nympho-maniacs of America Convention in Boston ."

Damn, I thought, here is the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen sitting next to me, and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain my composure, I calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded, "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?” I said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well, she explained, "One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait."

"Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best."

"I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name..."

"Tonto,” I said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

1st time I heard that one my preacher told it to me.

Oh + BTW,pastor Peter just took his new position in Mason + he told me about one of his parisheners,an elderly gent that although he knows that lard is bad for you,you just can't make good biscuits in a dutch oven w/o lard. So he goes to the grocery store,can't find it + asked this kid clerk where the lard is.The kid stops for a minute then says,"Sir,the Lord is everywhere."He has told me numerous other funny tales involving his profession.

Scientists have recently uncovered the only cure for nymphomania ... wedding cake.

Wish that were true. Seems all of many never change their spots + then get the top end of the divorce settlement after THEIR indiscretions.Sorry,this is supposed to be humor.

Back in the 80s I took two co-workers to lunch. I knew that one of the women had claimed to have a sex addiction.

The conversation veered off onto sex and the next thing I know, I'm just sitting there listening to them discuss their "issues". The one got caught by her husband while she was having sex with another man in her house; and the husband divorced her. The other had gone for professional help and been cured of her sex addiction. Said she had to have an orgasm every day. The first told me that if she hadn't cured her problem, we would probably be in bed instead of having lunch right then....................................I felt so lucky, I could hardly finish the rest of my meal without crying.

Old man I worked for years ago told me a tale that happened to him in the 30's. In those days they had road house cafes that let you eat at picnic tables outside.He stopped there with his nephew to grab a bite when the owners wife came out of the trailer + gave him the glad eye.He responded + no sooner than he was through the husband came in started lapping it up. He bailed out of the trailer puking + old Joe just laughed.He told me a similar story that happened just short of war 2. Same lead up,he went home with a friend from work;wife is there + hubby says you stay here + I will go get a bottle of bourbon.As soon as hubby leaves she's all over Joe.After the fact hubby comes home + after asking Joe was it good goes into the bedroom + starts to lapp it up. Well Joe sees this situation + calls a few friends + asks the girls if they like getting eaten (big round of applause) so then asks the guys if they are interested in a (fuck fest)Everyone shows + that poor bastard was sucking it up all night long.Disgusting;to me at least.No accounting for taste (sorry)

A word of warning: be careful who you tell the joke to! Many folks have NEVER heard of Tonto! In fact, that's how you can tell how old they are!
Peter.