Tennessee

The owner of a small business was confused about a discount on an invoice so he decided to ask his secretary for help. He called her into
his office and said, ''You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $2,000, minus 12%, how much would you take off?''

The secretary thought a moment and replied, ''Everything but my ear rings.''

Alabama

A group of Alabama boys went deer hunting and paired off in twos. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck.

''Where's Henry?'' the others asked.

''Henry collapsed. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,'' the successful hunter replied.

''You mean you left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back alone?'' they
inquired.

''A tough call,'' nodded the hunter, ''But I figured no one was gonna steal Henry!''

Texas

A County Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up
into a ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head".

"Yep", he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'

Louisiana

A senior at LSU said ''When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.''

When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in
Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.

Mississippi

A young man from Mississippi came running to his buddy and said, ''Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup from the parking lot!''

Bubba replied, ''Did you see who it was?''

The young man answered, ''I couldn't tell, but I got the license plate number.''

Georgia

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, ''Got any ID?''

The driver replied, ''Bout whut?''

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of his truck and one behind it.

Then he got back in and waited. A passerby studied the scene and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked what the problem was.

The man replied, ''I got a flat tire.''

The passerby asked, ''But what's with the flowers?''

The man responded, ''When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.''

South Carolina

''Say what you want about the South but I ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North."

quote:

Originally posted by fla3006:
''Say what you want about the South but I ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North."

Sorry Montana is full of southern accents.