THIS IS THE CODE...
>
> 1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It
> means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've
> been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing
> sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
>
> 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but
> Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
> delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
> just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your
> ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to
> daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.
>
> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, or any such
> nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks
> bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet,
> or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and
> undeniably a Fag.
>
> 4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking
> lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
> toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
>
> 5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in
> the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with thick,
> wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard
> ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what
> artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth,
> you've had a dick in there too.
>
> 6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of
> dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A
> real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that
> crap as well as all the names of all the players in the AFL, Super 12
> Rugby, NRL, Cricket, PGA, NBL, and Supercar series. If you can pick out
> chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can
> name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!
>
> 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry
> for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
> slow-arse Volvo drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the
> time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger,
> hold his beer, finger the bitch in the passenger seat (whoever she
> happens to be), or, if he's a wog, talk on his mobile phone.
>
> 8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez
> le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with
> a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films
> by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous
> homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out
> too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that shit to
> yourself, you flamming faggot!
>
> 9. If your name is Marty then stop living in denial. You're a dung
> punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it.

M A R T Y?????????????????????????????????

Fuck you!! I resent that last one!!!! Aussie Bastard!!

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for this chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says "OK, old man, retirement time for you." The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chicks ..... Look at what it did to me." The young rooster replies, "Now don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young stud to take over, so take a hike." The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon . just let me have the two hens over in the corner. I won't bother you." The young rooster replies, "Scram! Beat it! You're all washed up and Ahm taking over!" So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the pushy youngster: "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the domain of the chicken coop." The young one says, "You know I'm going to beat you, gramps, so just to be fair, I'm going to be real generous and give you a head start." They line up at the back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old 'un. The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees whats going on, grabs his shotgun and ka-boom! He blows the young rooster to smithereens. Shaking his head sadly, the farmer goes indoors and remarks to his wife, "Dammit, that's the third gay rooster I bought this week!"

Bakes that was special, thanks!

Bakes

Isn't there a Marty living not far from you in Darwin who occasionally posts on the net.

Your arse is in trouble, me thinks when he hears of this.

****************

Very funny post.

Nitro
I've meet Marty one day on base but didn't know it at the time. He was here with the Army. Nice bloke, he's not gay however. Don't know about anybody else called Marty however.

Bakes

Bakes

I was thinking he might put his army boot there instead.

After posting I was wondering if the joke wasn't sent to him in the first place and probably via a dozen others and probably several countries got to you.

Hey Nitro did Nickudu's vid show up yet?

Bakes

[
[It must of cut close to the bone hey?

Bakes[/QB][/QUOTE]

Yeah.

Sounds like someone needs to find thier 'happy place', don't it?

,,,,,,Or is that 'happy sock'? I forget.

While quite straight, I do happen to know the color chartreuse, although I have never seen it anywhere except crankbaits, jigs , etc...

Cengel - Is that what that color is called? I always just called it "Slime Green."

Just goes to show when a feller is as dumb as me, he learns something every day. I can go to bed now a wiser man that when I got up. More tired too!

Nice, homo-phobic (or just plain prejudiced) board we got here.

And no, I'm not gay. People here bitch about the racist jokes, but not something like this. Odd.

Glock.rocks

What do you mean? We now aren't allowed to tell racist jokes here anymore as well ?????

YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG GLOCK, I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC I SIMPLY HATE QUEERS.

Fischer
If you were just joking then I apoligise!Perhaps you could have used one of these or this then I would have taken the post as a joke.

as for the changing the name no worries.....I've never met a gay fella......but I've kissed a guy who has.

Bakes

Q. What's the difference between a fag & a freezer?
A. The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!

Q. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A. A Lickalotopuss

Q. What do gay men call haemorrhoids?
A. Speedbumps.