10 Ways To Prepare For Ski Season
10. Visit your local butcher and pay $10 to sit in his walk in freezer for an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
9. Go to your nearest hockey rink and walk across it 20 times in your ski boots carrying two skis and your accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
8. For ski boots simulation at home, put a pebble in your socks and put on your street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
7. Buy a pair of expensive gloves and immediately throw one away.
6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $12.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to stand in the longest line.
5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motor bike very fast to make the ticker lacerate your face.
4. Drive very slowly for 5 hours - anywhere as long as it is in a snowstorm and your are following an 18 wheeler very closely.
3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the ice hit you in the face. You would almost believe you are skiing in front of a snow maker.
2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday.
23 July 2013, 21:48
impala#03Now that is funny!! I bet it will work too!
23 July 2013, 22:37
Moremonte

Just Enough Reasons For me To Go To The Beach!!
24 July 2013, 07:15
Grizzly AdamsNow that's funny, coming from Dubai.

Grizz
quote:
Originally posted by Grizzly Adams:
Now that's funny, coming from Dubai.

Grizz
Listen mate, I did not have the luxury of learning to ski until I was 55 years old.
But, I am trying my best to put in some experience!

24 July 2013, 21:35
vashperNothing terrible, Saeed. I had the same experience this year, and I am three years more than 55. I started from zero, and on the fourth day, I had already passed the "black track".
However, I already had experience in cross-country skiing.
The main thing - do not be afraid to fall on your own, when you feel you can not cope with the speed or maneuver.
29 July 2013, 02:30
Alberta CanuckGood one, Saeed. Explains why I have always held that no one convicted of Skiing (or golf) should ever be allowed to hold any government office in any country.) Both suggest a mind set which really enjoys masochism a little to much....