American soldiers returned from the front and goes to England in the train.
All the seats are occupied, only in one compartment Englishwoman sitting opposite her on the seat — dog, next is Englishman.
- Lady, let me sit down!
— You Americans are all very rude! Don't you see, here sits my dog!
- But lady, I'm very tired, I fought for three months at the front, I want to sit!
— You Americans are not only very rude! You're annoying!
— Lady! I also love dogs, I have them at home as much as two. Let me sit down and I hold your dog on my hands!
— You Americans are not only very rude and annoying! You are insufferable!
After these words, the American soldier takes the dog, throws the window and sits down. Lady loses the power of speech. Sitting beside the Englishman says:
"You know, young man! I certainly do not agree with her definition of Americans, but I allow myself to notice that you Americans do things differently. You drive on the wrong side of the roadway, hold your fork in the wrong hand, and now you threw out the window the wrong bitch!

Gosh, Vaspher, That was your best one to date.

Thanks,

Stephen

you're getting better...

but you are not there ....yet

Give credit where due, guys....He's getting a whole lot better with English language than we are with Russian.

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
you're getting better...

or a missionary is making progress ....

Damn Vash, you had me. Then you lost me.

quote:

Originally posted by Dulltool17:
Give credit where due, guys....He's getting a whole lot better with English language than we are with Russian.

You know, it's not just the language. The joke about the hare and the wolves who ate it and hung a wreath on the grave with the inscription "from partners" has been translated quite accurately, but for Americans it's just not funny. Although the irony about the "partnership" the Americans have too. I just recently watched the movie "Little miss Marker", there is a mobster kills the dog of the main character, and mockingly calls him "partner", or "mate", dont remember exactly. The irony is there, but for Americans, the story is not funny, and for us it's funny.
And I'm not optimistic about improving my English: first, old monkey will not learn new tricks, and secondly, the language which you use - is not English.

that may be, but American English is the language the world uses for business...

Unless you are working in South America. The oil industry contracts that are signed there are in Spanish, and they prevail. The English version is not "official".

In much of Asia the local language and English version are side-by-side in the signed contract. Doing business in Bahasa, Hindi, Thai, etc. would be a killer.

Well, I had a joke about American English, I sometimes consult with the guy who 20 years living in England, but some of the jokes he too does not understand.
Not only in business, 30 years ago the entire array of scientific and technical literature in the world, 50% English, 10% German, French and Russian. Now, perhaps, the proportions have changed a little due to the development of Oriental languages.
By the way, is a good example of cultural differences: there is a popular slogan "All men are brothers." When translated into the Chinese language there is a problem - in the Chinese language there is no such generalized categories - "brothers". There are "fathers and elder brothers", "sons and younger brothers". As a result, the slogan became: "all men are elder and younger brothers" that's not exactly what had in mind Jean-Jacques Rousseau.

That was a classic one Vashper. Here's another old classic.
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries.

Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, “Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, “Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.”