A young women asks her mother, "Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and fourties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his sixties, it is like a christmas tree." The young women asks, "Like a christmas tree?" The mother replies "Yes, dried up, and the balls are there for decoration only."

A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her twenties, a womans breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties and fourties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After her sixties, they are like onions." The young man asks, "Like onions?" The father replies, "Yes, see them and they make you cry."

Two smiles up only