( I just found a gold mine of great insults to the Aussies - and they can't blame me because I found them on an Aussie website! Here is one of them)

A quite rich Englishman and his wife are touring Australia in a hired limousine. The wife happens to look out the window and sees an Aussie doing something with a kangaroo. She asks her husband:" Dear,is that man doing something indecent with that animal?"

The Englishman looks and is appalled. He tells his wife to look away. He also tells her that he will register a stern complaint with the 5 star hotel they are registered at.

They arrive at the hotel. As they get out of the limousine, they both see a one legged man wanking on the steps. (Aside to Americans-explanation later). The English couple are now truly appalled.

The Englishman storms to the hotel desk and says:" This is truly an awful country. My wife and I just saw a man performing sex with a kangaroo -and now we see a one legged man masturbating on the steps of your hotel! What do you have to say about this?"

The Aussie desk clerk says: " "Well,after all, mate, you can't expect a one legged man to get his own kangaroo, can you?"