From the following link: http://www.jamesfuqua.com/lawjokes.html

(Creating section 372: of the California State Civil Code)


§ 372.01 Any person with a valid California state Rodent, Skunk, or Predator hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational, relaxation, and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.


§ 372.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted; however, the use of United States Currency as bait, in denominations of $20.00 or more is prohibited.


§ 372.03 It is unlawful to hurt or trap attorneys inside saloons, cocktail lounges, strip joints, or brothels or within one hundred (100) yards of BMW, Porsche, Mercedes Benz dealerships.


§ 372.04 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise such as a Hooker, Reporter, Accident Victim, Physician, Chiropractor for the purpose of attracting and hunting attorneys or shout; "WHIPLASH", "CLASS ACTION", or "FREE DRINKS" for such purpose.


§ 372.05 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is unlawful. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

Question: How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?



Answer: His lips are moving.

Why do lawyers wear neckties?

To keep their foreskin from sliding up.

Please don't tell my parents I'm a lawyer!...

They still think I'm a piano player in a whorehouse!


(No, I am not a lawyer)

I heard that scientific labs are going to start using lawyers instead of lab rats for experiments. They cite the following reason...

- lawyers are more plentiful than rats and easier to find

-lab personnel start developing warm feelings for rats, some actually find them cute. That won't be a problem if lawyers are used.

-there are some things that a rat won't do!

Two attorneys were attending a convention in Haiwai, and during a break were walking down the beach. In the process, they passed an extremely attractive, well endowed young woman coming up the beach wearing a string bikini.
Joe turned to Howard and said, "Howie, wouldn't just love to screw her?"
Howard answered without breaking stride or looking again, "Outta what?"

Do you know what happens when you give Viagra to a Lawyer?



He Gets Taller



Remember its only 99% of all lawyers that give the rest of them a bad name.