Subject: RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two
points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would
be.

The first officer was a Commander, who accepted asked that he be measured

from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and

walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a Lieutenant Commander, who was a little

smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his

toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Chief Warrant Officer, who, when asked where

he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old Warrant insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing
the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Warrant to 'drop 'em,' which he
did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's
penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are

your testicles?'' The old Warrant calmly replied, '' Vietnam."

That's funny!! F**k did I laugh.........