Coalition Provisional Authority: The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.
Halliburton: We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.
Muqtada al-Sadr: The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.
US Army Military Police: We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.
Peshmerga: The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.
1st Cav: The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately detained and searched in accordance with current SOP's. We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.
Al Jazeera: The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.
Blackwater: We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.
Translators: Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.
U.S. Marine Corps: The chicken is dead.
Posts: 2404 | Location: A Blue State | Registered: 28 September 2002
Actually, Judy, the chicken did not cross the road. Someone built a road on the ancesteral home turf of the chicken, and now the chicken has to deal with it. In effect, the road crossed the chicken. There is a team of ACLU lawyers working on the court case requiring the destruction of the illegal road, and recompense to all fowldom for all the mayhem caused by the road and its traffic. After retiring the legal team to the Bahamas, there should be about 1/8 grain of wheat for each fowl, pretax.
Posts: 1944 | Location: Moses Lake, WA | Registered: 06 November 2001
Quote: 8MM, you are full of it! We all know the chicken crossed the road to attend a BBQ it was invited too. derf
Well, I just heard that the A Chicken LU decided to not retire, thier going to work on you Kanuckians after renaming themselves the A Canadian LU, so there!!!
Posts: 1944 | Location: Moses Lake, WA | Registered: 06 November 2001
That's because of the large number of chickens that are still out there trying to get accross the road. With all the possums and armadillos getting in the way it makes things a lot more dangerous. Roadtrash
Posts: 118 | Location: Tonopah, AZ, USA | Registered: 27 December 2003
I have said this before. You are a dangerous person and should be dealt with as such. The use of humor in referring to serious matters of state demonstrates that you should be muffled. ("Muffled"? Maybe I mean, silenced. Oh, yeah, that's a synonymn. Well, anyway, shut up!)
Judy, I mostly always disagree with you, but, in Voltaire's immortal remark, I'll always defend your right,etc.
Posts: 649 | Location: NY | Registered: 15 January 2004
So it wouldn't get the "Clap" from Judy 
