A man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his mobile as ‘Low Battery’. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.

A Government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to Canada so that they can see their own doctor.

I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the missus look like she’s moving during intercourse.

Such an unfair world: When a man talks dirty to a woman it’s considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $2.50/min (charges may vary).


Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; she’s lousy at Snooker.

Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He’s mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I’ve called him England.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.

They say that Sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is
going to shift this Beer Belly.

Remember, most of us are from Texas, and jokes that are both intelligent and funny make us think. That can be a painful experience for a Texan.

I'm thinking out loud.

quote:

A Government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to Canada so that they can see their own doctor.

Now, there's a Lie.

Grizz

thanx,