A SOUTHERNER MOVES TO WISCONSIN

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Dec. 8
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took out our hot rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

Dec. 9
We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later, a city snow plow came along and accidently covered our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I smiled back and shoveled it again.

Dec. 10
It snowed an additional 3 inches last night, and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. Much of the snow is brownish-gray.

Dec. 11
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice when the temp. dropped again. Bought snow tires for both of the cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145.00 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken.

Dec. 12
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guard rail anyway and did considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snow plow came by twice today.

Dec. 13
Two degrees outside. More fuckin' snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered second-degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on way to emergency room and was totaled.

Dec. 14
Goddamn motherfucking white shit keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fuckin' mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 mph and buries our driveway again! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Dec. 15
Six goddamn more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin' sleet and fuckin' ice and God knows what other kind of fuckin' shit fell last night. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice ax but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Windchill....22 fuckin' degrees. I'm moving back down south!!

That sounds like it was writen by a guy in Michigan. I too would like to bury an axe in the snow plow guy, and yes, he never comes before the drive is shovled.

That was GREAT! I am busting up, makes up for my software vendor having stupid install setup that requires 14 different downloads. I woulda taken an axe handle to the snowplow guy myself probably.

Red

sounds to me like the writer needs a course in english--he only has 4 word vocabulaty