Did you hear that Sven met, fell in love with and married a cute little Palestinian girl? A year later they became the proud parents of a healthy baby boy. Of course, they named him Yassir YouBetcha!
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Sven a Minnesota State Policeman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles south of Minneapolis on Highway 52. When Sven asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to St. Paul to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. Sven told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. Sven told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so Sven got three flares and lit them, and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a very drunk Ole got out and looked at the show, then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in.

Sven saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked Ole what he thought he was doing. Ole replied, "Yust take me to yail... ain't no way I'm gonna pass dat test."

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In an apparent copycat terrorist act, terrorists Sven and Ole Binladenstrom have hijacked a Goodyear blimp. So far, they have bounced off 5 buildings.

More details to follow...

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One Sunday after church Sven meets Ole in the parking lot and notices that Ole has a big black eye. Sven says "Ole, Vat happen'd??!?"

Ole says "Vell, ya know how hot it's been lately?"

Sven listening with a worried look says "Ya".

Ole says "Vell, vee ver sitting in church and ven vee stood up to sing da hymn the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her buuns, so I pulled it out and I tink she didn't like dat"

The next week, Sven and Ole meet up in the church parking lot on Sunday morning but this time Ole's other eye is swelled up and black while the original shiner is healing. This time Sven, even more concerned says "Yumpin' Yiminey, Ole! Vat happened!!??"

So Ole says "Vell, ya know how hot it's been lately?"

Sven, shaking his head says "Ya".

Ole says "Vell, vee ver sitting in church and ven vee stood up to sing da hymn the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her buuns and den da fella next to me, he pulled it out and, of course, I stuck it back in but I guess she didn't like dat."
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Poor Ole! He answered the phone and came back to the living room crying.

"Vell, Ole! Vat in da vorld is da matter?" asked the sympathetic Lena.

"I yust had bad news, Lena," Ole replied, "My fadder yust died!!"

Just then the rang again, Ole went to answer it and came back crying again.

"Vell, now, Ole, vat is da matter?" asked Lena.

"Dat vas my brudder." said Ole. "His fadder yust died too!"


Mort Canard

Mort Canard:

I don't remember if his name was Sven but the Minnesota State policeman who pulled my wife over many years ago as we were driving across southern Minnesota (and a couple of Easterners wondering when that horizon was going to get any closer.) performed the usual impressive act of State Troopers or Highway Patrol of getting out of his patrol car, adjusting the gun belt and walked up and bent down. My wife gave him her license and then produced the registration. He then said " Maam, how low did you want to fly?" I will make a long story short. He let her go. I have a fond memory of the Minnesota State Police.