3 friends, who make a habit out of filching drinks off of new bartenders, go to a new joint one happy hour, when the place will be packed + busy. 1st guy goes in, sits at the bar + orders a scoth + soda. The bartender serves him, waits on another guy, comes back + says, that will be $2.50.The guy says but I've already paid you. The BT says, look I know you didn't but I'm too busy to deal with this now. The guy finishes his drink + leaves. The 2nd guy comes in + sits on the same barstool + repeats the act; the BT says, look I know you didn't pay me but I' m busy, just finish your drink + leave. Then the 3rd guy (a little Jew) comes in + sets at the same barstool + before he can even order, the BT reaches under the counter + comes up with a baseball bat + says, Look buddy, 2 other guys came in right before you, orders drinks + claims to have paid for them + I know they didn't + if that happens again I will knock the taste right out of that guys mouth! The little Jew has this pained expression on his face + just says, "Look friend, you've got problems, I've got problems. Just give me my change + I'll leave."

You anti Semite, you!

Crooks come in all sizes and flavors.

Speaking of antisemite, has any read Mel Brook's new book, "All About Me"? He mentions his routine "The Thousand-year-old man" that he did with Carl Reiner as the interviewer, who asks him since he's 1000 years old was he there for the American Revolution, + did he know Paul Revere? Mel replies, "Yeah, I knew that antisemite! He was afraid we were gonna move into the neighborhood, so he rode his horse up + down the street, calling out THE YIDDISH ARE COMING, THE YIDDISH ARE COMING!"

I wrote that down wrong; it was the 2000-year-old man. Another one was when interviewer Carl Reiner asks him who discovered women? + Mel says, "Oh, that would be Bernie. We were all standing around one day + Bernie says, 'There are Ladies here!'" It's funnier when you hear Mel deliver it.