CONFUCIUS SAY...
Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Wise man not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
And, CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY. . .

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

Confucius say, "Woman who fly upside down have crack up." and there were many more I learned in the seventh grade but, mercifully, have forgotten.

"Who say I say all those things people say I say?"

A friend of mine is an amateur philosopher, and his views are close to Confucian. For example, his expression at the table on the hunt: "action without ritual is bestiality". Quite Confucian, but the identity of the sayings of Confucius, at least in Russian.
Here is his comment (at the camp table too): "All men are divided into hunters and queers". Someone asked: "what about the fishermen?". Alexander thought for a moment and replied: "they haven't determined".