Why do lawyers keep tightening their ties?..................................To keep the foreskin off of their heads!

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?

He gets taller and fatter!

What do you call 100 lawyers sky diving from an airplane?



SKEET

what do you call 100 lawyers found dead in the ocean?



A good start

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?



A Dobberman!

How many lawyer jokes are there?



3, the rest are true!

You know- 99% of the lawyers give the rest a bad name...............

whats the differance between a flounder and a lawyer?
One is a scum-sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish...

A lawyer and his wife are on an ocean cruise. The lawyer falls overboard in shark infested waters. As everyone on the cruise ship looks in horror at what will happen -the sharks rushing to the splash in the water confer and then escort the lawyer back to the ship.

Back on board, the captain says to the lawyer:" "That was a miracle!"

The lawyer shrugs it off: " Just professional courtesy!".

This happened in one of those areas in Kenya where they have paved roads (No, not really) A big male lion is seen by his pride to be eating road kill. The others ask him what he is doing.

The lion replies: " I just ate a lawyer and I want to get the taste out of my mouth!"

What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Good morning, Your Honor.