A lady had been married to a Farmer all of her life. They had cows and
horses on their farm, and also grew a number of crops for sale at the
local Farmers Market.

While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and
her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a
'contest form' for Carnation Milk while in the store.

The Carnation Milk Company offered a cash prize for the best entry
regarding those little cans of milk found on grocery shelves. Carnation
furnished the first line of a jingle with these words, "I like Carnation
best of all...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of
the jingle on the entry form.

Each contestant could use only 50 words or less. So the Farmer's Wife
completed her jingle and mailed it off to Carnation, hoping for the best,
but not really expecting to win anything. A couple of months later, after
she had forgotten all about it, the woman was surprised when a Carnation
Milk Representative came to her door, and told her that her entry was the
best one submitted. Unfortunately, however, the company could not publish
it. Despite that latter fact, they had decided that her entry was worth
at least a 'Consolation Award', and so the Representative presented her
with a company check in the amount of $1,000 for her 'creativity'.

Here is her entry;

I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no shit to haul!
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch!

Cryin' funny!!

Lars:

Same story with a little different twist--

Little boy had to write a poem for his teacher about a common product used at home:

"Carnation Milk, the finest in the land
Always keep a case on hand
No tits to pull, no shit to pitch
Just punch two holes in the son of a bitch."