>THIS IS FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE BASHING
>JOKES
>
>
>How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be
>opened by
>the time she brings it.
>
>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>Because a
>woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able
>to
>support you.
>
>Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand
>closer to
>the kitchen sink.
>
>How do you know when a woman is about to say something
>smart? When she
>starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>
>How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on
>the
>oven.
>
>Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't
>shut up long
>enough to build up pressure.
>
>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
>the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. At least
>he'll shut up after you let him in.
>
>All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell
>them apart.
>
>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do
>what
>she's told.
>
>I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
>I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt
>her.
>
>What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
>Divorced.
>
>Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the
>same.
>
>Scientist have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex drive by
>90%. It is Wedding Cake.
>
>Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
>Suffering.
>
>Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I
>said, "Dust!"
>
>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
>created
>Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither
>God nor Man
>has rested.
>
>My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
>troopers and a dog.
>
>Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
>
>What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
>
>A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo
>Drive and
>said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and
>said, "God, I wish I had your will power."
>
>Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mothers-in-law.
>
>Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
>man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That
>happens in
>every country, son.
>
>A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:"Wife Wanted."
>The
>next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
>thing:
>"You can have mine."
>
>A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he
>wishes, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for
>a
>minute and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and then beat
>me
>half to death."
>
>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
>it once.
>
>Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
>street
>with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
>

Those are just wrong! How can you even think those are funny?!


Ok, my wife was in the room... she is gone now. TOO FUNNY!