blonde jokes


Two Blondes With Hammers...
>Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
>house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
>pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
>Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing
>those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
>about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
>Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't
>defective! They're for the other side of the house!"



>Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
>They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter."


>A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
>her
>index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
>asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
>"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
>your finger?" "No, Silly" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
>chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm
>not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I
>put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my
>teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?"
>"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a
>loud
>noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
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>A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
>hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
>a
>repair shop.
>The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
>He told her to go home and blow into the tail
>pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went
>home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her
>tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still
>nothing happened.Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you
>doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
>blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The
>roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up
>the windows first."
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>A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.
>She
>was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk
>To ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps
>hot things hot, and cold things
>cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I' m going to buy it!!
>" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw
>it on her desk. "What's that," he asked? "Why, that's a thermos..... it
>keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss
>inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied..... ..."Two
>popsicles
>and some coffee."
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>AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
>A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked
>sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this
>morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The
>boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day?
>Take
>the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I
>need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that
>here."
>The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
>A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He
>looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's
>so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I
>just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"