Lady thinks her dog is losing his hearing, takes him to the vet. The vet looks in the ears, pulls out excess hair, and tells lady to remove the hair periodically, using hair remover. "Just get some at the pharmacy/chemist's," says the dog doc.

She stops at the drug store and asks the pharmacist for hair remover. He asks her if it's for her armpits. No, she says. Well, if you were going to use it there, I would suggest no anti-perspirant for a few days. As you going to use it on your legs? No, she says. Well, I would recommend no stockings for a few dyas if you were, says the pharmacist. So whhere are you going to use it?

It's for my Schnauzer, she says.

Well, lady, in that case, I'd stay off a bicycle for at least a week!