Tom was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck--pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear.

"Hey, pal, what's the matter?" Tom asked.

"Oh, man . . . I've been transferred to California," the other guy answered. "There's crazy people in California and they have shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate . . "

"Hold on," Tom interrupted, "I've lived in California all my life, and it is not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as
anywhere in the world."

The other passenger relaxed, stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Tom, "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck in Oakland."

I've head the same thing about Michigan, BTW I got my nick while working on a bread truck in Flint, MI