How bad is the economy?


The economy's so bad that:

1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

3. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

4. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked me, "Can you afford fries with that?"

5. CEO's are now playing miniature golf on Wednesdays.

6. Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen

7. My ATM gave me an IOU!

8. A stripper was killed when her audience threw rolls of pennies while she danced.

9. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife,

10. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

11. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and Find out if they meant you or them.

12. McDonald's is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.

13. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from West Virginia .

14. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and had to learn their children's names.

15. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

16. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

17. Motel Six don't leave the light on anymore.

18. A picture is now only worth 235 words.

19. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

20. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now ran by Somali pirates.

21. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $3 trillion disappear!

22. And, finally...... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got transffered to a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and wanted to know if I could drive a truck...