A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."



The driver says, "Goodness, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control"

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once!!?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine".

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part.......



"Only when he's been drinking."

Good One!!

A buddy of mine got pulled over for speeding a few years back + the trooper said,I've heard a 100 reasons for speeding,unless you want a ticket tell me one I have'nt heard.Wes thinks for a minute then says,I just talked to my wife.She said if I was'nt home in 15 minutes she was fucking somebody else.

Here's a true story about speeding was using my laser to clock vehicle speed.

I saw a truck that was obviously traveling over the speed limit. I confirmed his higher speed with my laser at 77 in a 55.

As he was approaching I notice a black auto pull out and pass him I confirmed the auto speed at 83 mph.

When I stopped auto I noticed the driver was an elderly women.

I asked her for her drivers license when she handed it to me I asked her if there was reason why she was traveling at 83 miles per.

Her statement was the truck was going over 75 I had to go that fast to pass him.

It all took place on highway with a 55mph speed limit.

The woman's age was also 83.