A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.

A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he says.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'





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Two elderly people living in Fort Myers, he was a widower and she a widow,

had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another.

As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her

and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.

With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage,

he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.'

'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'





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A man was telling his neighbor in Port Charlotte, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.

It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'





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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor in Bonita Springs ,

and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids

Old geeser went to the doctor to get a hearing aid.
Doctor says come see me in three weeks and we'll make final adjustments.
Three weeks later and the doc says so have you told your family about the aid?
Man: No but i have changed my will several times.

True story:

In 2001, I was building a power plant near Wauchula, Florida and at breakfast in a local restaurant there was a news report of a an elderly person who had driven the wrong way down the freeway.

The waitress looks at me and says, "It's not the senior citizens driving down here that we worry about, it's their parents".

I have a friend that was in the artillary in WW2 + went in a couple of years ago to get a hearing aid.The Doc looked at his chart + saw that he had been smoking 3 packs of Salems a day since he was 15. Doc said Hell you don't need a hearing aid,you're dead.