There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear that word one more time, I'll quit!"

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "You have to do something about the roads and sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your own wife fell three times this week already and your daughter fell twice!"

Catholic, but I've never been to confession. Not that I have not sins to confess, of course, but I'm not trusting of anyone, even my priest. And I don't feel it's necessary. My penance is between me and God. I guess that makes me a "Cafeteria Catholic".

I agree, I know that confession can be good for the soul in women + men who feel the necessary needs just to clean their earthly slate periodically, however I still feel that my dealings with God are mine + are similar. I have done my best to follow the 10 commandments + although I have feet of clay as well, I have NEVER had an adulterous affair. During the college years, we all did a bit of
"sleeping around' but we did it with other students, never anyone else's spouse. Splitting a hair perhaps, but true just the same.

That brought to mind another that I had to post before I forgot it; a buddy says "I've got Jewish Alzheimer" I forget everything but the guilt.