Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside

> ===========================================
During last
> night's high winds an African family were killed by a
> falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City council
> said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
> ============================================
Jamaican
> minorities in the UK have complained that there are not
> enough television shows with minorities in mind, so
> Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
> ============================================
I was reading in
> the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How
> could anyone stoop so low.
> ============================================
I was walking
> down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth
> floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "what's
> up Abdul, won't it start?"
> ============================================
A Muslim dies
> and finds himself before the Pearly Gates..
> He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet
> the Prophet Mohammed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven,
> he meets a man with a beard.
> "Are you Mohammed?" he asks.
> "No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he
> points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.>
> Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he
> climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the
> clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
> He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
> "No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."
> Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to
> climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger
> room where he meets another man with a beard.
> Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
> "No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."
> Mohammed higher than Jesus!
> The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and
> climbs, ever higher. Once again he reaches a larger room
> where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
> "Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out
> of breath from all his climbing
> "No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you
> like a coffee?">
> "Yes, please, my Lord."
> God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
> "Hey Mohammed, two coffees !!!!"

Heres some more

I'm about to take part in the Great Bradford Run.
It's not an official race, I just stand in the city centre & shout "Allah is a twat" & then off we go....
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A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.
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I got sacked from my job as a Bingo caller.
Apparently " A meal for two with a hairy view" is not the way to call No 69
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I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . .
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
................................................................................
.......................

Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lotto!
I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!
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A Muslim has died whilst training to be a Skydiver.
The "BNP School of Diving" said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers failed to open

Muzza, you are a bad boy! Funny but bad!

Its gotta be the cheese. Bad, I tell ya, bad!

mohammed and the coffee made me laugh...

Yeah I agree,mohammed was classic.Loved a couple of others as well as P.C.is not in any form of vouge here.

Gents - I merely pass them on , sort of like a duty to humanity.

Admitted some that I post arent that funny - unless you have a skinfull of alchohol at the time , but not everyone has the same sense of humour so we try and cater to all tastes...

I think this was filtered through Scriptus.

quote:

A Muslim has died whilst training to be a Skydiver.
The "BNP School of Diving" said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers failed to open

That one cost me a new keyboard............

These are my kind of humor!!