A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful young woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, "Guess she doesn't work for Delta."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same blank look.

He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list.

Next he tried the United slogan: "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"

This time the woman turned on him, "What the f*** do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said... "Ahhh, South African Airways!!!!"

That's good humor!

Rick, I love your signature line!

Thanks, Pecos!

Actually, I just got paid, so I could change it to "Thursday" now!

Rick.

Fly the Friendly Skies ***

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

�May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*ck you." Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.

My personal favorite airline joke:
"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire."

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you."

"That's me, the copilot, and one of our flight attendants. This is a recording."