Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus

10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.

4. You don't have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer.

3. There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a beer.

1. If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.

Johan

This is from one of our local forums,



http://www.australianhunting.net/phpBB2/index.php/url] ,and I thought it might round out the first post to REALLY help women understand us. I'm sure it's been around for a while, but it might help educate somem of the younger ones among us.



"Just thought i would post these for the women who read these posts and for all you blokes to pass on to the women in your life.





So these are the reasons why we men are what we are:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note... these are all numbered "1" on purpose as they are all the one golden rule.



1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.



1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.



1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.



1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it in that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:



Subtle hints do not work!



Strong hints do not work!



Obvious hints do not work!



Just say it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.



1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.



1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.



1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.



1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.



1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.



1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.



1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.



Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education." Amen