A Texas Department of Public Safety officer pulled over a car in El Paso and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt he had just won $5,000 in a state wide safety competition sponsored by the All-Texas Auto Insurance Company.

"So, what are you going to do with the money?", he asked. The driver responded "Well, I guess I'll try to get my license reinstated and maybe pay off some of those old warrants. If there's anything left over then I might try to get some auto insurance."

"Oh, don't listen to him!" the woman in the passenger seat yelled,
he's always a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The yell woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

Then, at that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked "Por favor Señores, do we cross border yet?"

Good One

On a shuttle bus from convention hotel to convention center:
Driver (obviously a veteran of the profession): Hey everyone, my boss says if I do a good job and I'm very safe I can finally get my driver's license! So everyone let him know if I did a good job when we arrive.

<riders chuckle a bit>

Driver: No really... I don't want you to freak out. I'm just kidding. Some people can't take a joke.

<more polite chuckles>

Driver (off mic, turning to passenger nearest him): Heh... got the dang license yesterday...

The look on the lady's face was priceless!