Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

A. Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.


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Q. What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

A. About three pounds, including the urn.


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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN


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Q. Why do little boys whine?

A. They are practicing to be men.


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Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?

A. Trustworthy


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Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A. You did not hold the pillow down long enough.


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Q. Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A. It helps them remember which end to wipe...


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Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A. Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'


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Were do people with 1 leg work?
At IHOP!
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After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

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This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.

When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'

She replied, 'A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied that there were six.

The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, 'What is it?'

The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’


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as a ONE LEGGED MAN I like the Ihop joke best

I can't stand the male-bashing jokes of today's Liberal America.

Next time you watch TV, note how every commercial depicts the white male as a complete idiot while the "culturally diverse" and females are the geniuses who run the world.....

"Pitiful and Pathetic!"

quote:

Originally posted by rcamuglia:
I can't stand the male-bashing jokes of today's Liberal America.

Next time you watch TV, note how every commercial depicts the white male as a complete idiot while the "culturally diverse" and females are the geniuses who run the world.....

"Pitiful and Pathetic!"

And because the young, (and the not so young), watch so much tv etc they have an eroneous depiction of manhood to emulate.
Its no wonder that the boys dont know how to grow up to be men.

Von Gruff.

Absolutely correct. Apparently manhood is seen these days (albeit I see California's idea of that, pretty awful) is a fashionably sensible, opinionated, whiny and whimsical, sensitive fellow who enjoys the blathers of others in starbucks. One who can distinctly tell between styles of designer clothes but couldn't survive a few days in the woods lest he gets his manicured fingers dirty. One who counts the calories of a beer for his new found love of the atkins diet yet has not experienced a fine aged scotch. The TV brings a horrible influence that disgusts me. I'd like to see some of them survive a few days fishing or one of my brothers death hikes he's dragged me through on kodiak island. Or brush the sand and grime away from the rigors of combat with the starbucks / MTV mentality.

I think several here have described today's urban "metrosexual male" to a T.

That is why the world will change drastically in the next 25 years or so, . . . after that it will likely not make much of a difference.

quote:

Originally posted by rcamuglia:
I can't stand the male-bashing jokes of today's Liberal America.

Next time you watch TV, note how every commercial depicts the white male as a complete idiot while the "culturally diverse" and females are the geniuses who run the world.....

"Pitiful and Pathetic!"

I've noticed that also! And it carries over to the sitcoms too! That's why I don't like to watch TV!

quote:

Originally posted by reloaderman:

quote:

Originally posted by rcamuglia:
I can't stand the male-bashing jokes of today's Liberal America.

Next time you watch TV, note how every commercial depicts the white male as a complete idiot while the "culturally diverse" and females are the geniuses who run the world.....

"Pitiful and Pathetic!"

I've noticed that also! And it carries over to the sitcoms too! That's why I don't like to watch TV!

Reloader you stole my thunder. All the most pushed sitcoms over the last several years have had a complete bumbling fool of a white male as the primary butt of their jokes, "Everybody Loves Raymond", "King of Queens" etc.. One of my favorite exceptions is "That 70's Show" as a teenager of the 70's I remember a lot of those scenes from my youth and over the years I have morphed into "Red" Navy service and all.