The Last Good Politician

It seems that on one bright sunny day in Washington D.C. The Last Honest Congressman was Crossing The Street and Was Run Over By An Illegal Immigrant Driving a Taxi Cab.He was Killed Instantly.So Quick was His Death That He did Not Realize he was Dead till he Looked up and He was Standing Before St.Peter.
St Peter asked him "who are you"? The Congressman replied Who He was.St Peter remarked That he was Surprised to See Him So Soon,But After consulting The Angels Who Brought Him.He declared That He was Welcome to The Kingdom Of Heaven.Further More He was to Take a Walk In Heaven and Look Around See Old Friends and Family While St.Peter found his New Place to Reside.
The Congressman did just that.He found Most of His Family That had Passed on Before him,But Very Few of His Old Friends from D.C.Matter of Fact He found NONE of His Closest Political Buddies In Heaven.
He wandered about Heaven for what seemed a Long Time ,Finally he Found St. Peter and Asked Him About His New Home .St Peter remarked That he was The First Politician they Had to accommodate in a 100 years or so.And Finding The right Place Might take a Little Longer.
The Congressman asked about some of His Old Friends That had Passed on Before Him.St.Peter looked them Up and Said"they are Not In Heaven"Looking Down towards Hell.They are with Lucifer!!The Congressman was Deeply Saddened.But He had a Thought.He asked St.Peter if He Might go and Just Visit Them.St.Peter thought a Bit and agreed to let him Go Visit for 24Hours.No More.
St.Peter had the Angels Escort him To The Gates Of Hell!!There was Lucifer,All Decked out In His Finest,Come In My Friend.We Have Been Looking Forward to Your Visit.As He Passed Thru The Gates of Hell all His Previous Thoughts of Hell Vanished.Inside The Gates was a Beautiful Place,With Beautiful People all Around Him,Big Parties,Lots of Food,Golf Courses as Far as The Eye Could See.and There were His Old Pals From D.C.neck deep in Swimming pools with Beautiful women at There Call.He was Totally Surprised.He waded right in And Enjoyed The Party.
But At Last The 24 Hours were gone and He Had to Return To Heaven.
Upon His Return St.Peter took him to a Beautiful place ,A great Hall.There were the Honest,Good Politicians from the past.George Washington,Ben Franklin and the Other great men of History.
The Congressman Looked Around and Asked St.Peter if this was Where he was to Stay for Eternity? The answer was Yes.
He Hung His Head and Said" I cannot Stay here where I have No Friends or Where I am Not Comfortable. I want to go back to Hell and Be with My friends.
St,Peter Says.All Is Not What it seems Down There .They Have Lied to You!!
The Congressman declares That they are His Friends,They would Never Deceive Him.He begs to go.Finally St.Peter lets him go,With a Final Warning:You Can Never Return to Heaven once you Cross the Gates Of Hell.
And Off He went.At The Gates of Hell there was Ol'Lucifer waiting on Him.
Come In ,Come In My Friend.The Party is waiting for You.He wraps his Boney fingers around him and Slings Him Thru the Gates of Hell.
There is Nothing,No Parties,No Country Clubs,No Food,Just Pain and Suffering.Lost Souls everywhere.Fire and Brimstone.Sulpher Fumes.All That Hell Is About.
The Congressman Turns to Run Back to The Gates and is Knocked Down By Lucifer.He Screams as He is thrown to the Dogs of Hell.What happen to all that was Here yesterday??Lucifer Replies"Yesterday we Were Campaigning.TODAY You Voted.Welcome to Hell!!