One evening in a cozy Dublin pub, three gentlemen were seated shoulder-to-shoulder, working on a pint each of Guinness Stout. Just then, the front door rattles open and an elderly, disheveled Irish gent comes staggering in. Standing near the front door and eyeing the premises through one opened eye, he ambles up behind the youngest gentleman seated on the middle bar stool, gives him a smack across the top of his head and says: "Hey, guess what, ya' punk... I just came from your mother's house... and I had a LOVELY time sucking on your mum's big titties!"

Fearing that a fight was about to ensue, the other two men seated on either side of old man's targeted "victim" quickly jump off their stools and retreat some distance away. The remaining man sat quietly on his stool, never bothered turning around, and just continued sipping his Guinness. The smelly old man, realizing that his taunting hadn't worked, just waved his hand dismissively and staggered off to a spot at the far end of the bar. After a couple of minutes, the other two men felt it was safe and returned to their stools.

Some ten minutes go by... when once again, the old man comes staggering back behind the seated middle man, gives him a sharp jab with his knuckes in the man's ribs and says: "You know what, ya' sissy? I just came from your mum's a little while ago, and I bent her over the kitchen table... stuck 'it' in... and made her SQUEEL like the little piglet that she is! What do ya' think about that?"

Again, the two men sitting on either side, scramble out of their stools, expecting the brawl to break out any moment. But once again, the gent on the middle bar stool cooly ignores the old man--doesn't bother turning around--and continues nursing his Guinness. The old man, once again rebuffed, waves his hands overhead in frustration and stumbles off to his distant spot at the far end of the bar. Five minutes pass before the other two men decide it's safe again to return to their stools.

Quietly, fifteen minutes pass, when once again--for the third time now--the old geezer comes shuffling back behind the three men seated at the bar, stops behind the middle man, grabs a handful of his hair at the back of the head, and gives it a hellishly painful upward jerk.

Seeing all of this for a third time now, the two "outside" men once again quickly peel off their bar stools and high-tail it in opposite directions to what are seemingly safe spots some distance away. Breathing heavily down the middle man's right shoulder now, the old man slurs: "Ya know what, ya' punk? I just came from your old mum's house, had her spread them hairy legs wide open,. got on my hands and knees... and it was SWEEEEEEEET."

Just then, hearing all that any one man could be expected to stand, the young man on the middle bar stool spins around, springs from his seat, grabs the old man by the collar and slams him hard against the wall behind. Looking straight into the old man's glassy eyes with certain rage, the younger man shouts: "GO HOME, DAD, YER DRUNK AGAIN!!!"