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Dating... WHITE WOMEN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position. IRISH WOMEN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. ITALIAN WOMEN: First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs. Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring. 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex. 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend. JEWISH WOMEN: First Date: You get dynamite head. Second Date: You get more great head. Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again. GREEK WOMEN: First Date: You take her out to dinner and later make-out. Second Date: You take her out to dinner and later get laid. Third Date: You find out she actually can't cook, doesn't clean and is nothing like your mother. Then you just use her for sex. CHINESE WOMEN: First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens. Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner, Nothing happens again. Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen. INDIAN WOMEN: First date: Meet her parents. Second date: Set the date of the wedding. Third date: Wedding night. PORTUGUESE WOMEN: First date: Take her out to dinner and stare at her breasts all night. Second Date: Take her out to dinner and later realize that her breasts are real. Third Date: Skip dinner and invite her over for sex. 5th Anniversary: Witness her ass catch up to her breasts and look for a girlfriend. BLACK WOMEN: First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent. Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you. MEXICAN WOMEN: First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, have sex in the back of her car. Second Date: She's pregnant. Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande. | ||
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raamw: I want you to know that I deeply resent your remarks about Irish women. On the 20th anniversary, an Irishman reminds his loving wife how she went in the bathroom and cried on their wedding night. On their 20th anniversary, she went in the bathroom and cried. | |||
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Used to work with a guy who's wife was Portuguese, and an absolute knockout. I told him once Portuguese women find their man, they get fat and hairy. He said "What about my wife, she's not like that?" I said "Your wife's still looking for her man!" | |||
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