The rural family came for the first time in life in the big city. Wife
immediately dragged her husband and son in a huge shopping center and
began to run around from department to department, quite oblivious of households.
Left to themselves, the Cowboys were loitering around the room, staring at
parties. Their attention was drawn to complete elderly woman sitting in a
wheelchair near some doors and carefully looked at lights above them. Coming closer, they saw the number "1", and in this
moment the doors opened. The woman drove inside. Glancing behind her,
men saw the dead small room with no windows. The doors closed, and
glowing number plates counted to ten. This was followed by reverse
count, and the number "1" doors opened again. Two jaw synchronously
hit the floor ... Looking around the bewildered couple, from the little room
fluttered a charming girl, and knocking very tall heels,
headed for the exit. Father felt for his son's shoulder, turned to the side
sales floor and gasped, "Mother here ... Fast!"

Gibberish in English

Actually quite understandable, not gibberish at all.

In modern English, which all in Alberta understand,

"A rural family on its first visit to the big city sees a "Department Store" and, attracted by its display windows, venture inside.

The father is a rough hewn sort, about 50-55 years of age. the young sons are about 20-25 years old. The mother is also about 50-55 years of age, and shows it....everything sags; face, skin, boobs, belly, butt, etc.

She is preoccupied with the departments such as women's clothing, furniture and, especially, women's beauty products.

While she lingers in the latter department, the rest of the family wanders around a bit. Seeing a steel panel with a set of lights above it, they wonder what it is. As they watch, an aged crone comes over and pushes a button in the wall. Soon the number "1" over the panel lights up. It slides sideways and the crone enters. Then the panel closes again. The lights over the panel then proceed to light, in order, 2" then "3" then the next and so on...finally light number "10" lights up. and stays lit.

After two or three minutes, all of a sudden, the lights begin glowing again, in descending order sequencing back to "1". The panel magically slides open again and out steps a "stone fox" vixen, fabulously young, hard bodied, and beautiful.

As they all stare at her the father turns to the sons and says "get your mother over here...QUICK!!"

The Moscow version is shorter, but just as effective...it's an oldie but a goodie. Very easily understood too. A good joke repeated by a person who is working hard on improving his English. I wish I could write in Russian as well as he writes in English.

WTF is he talking about??????

Alberta I believe you have the correct translation,

I heard it was a Amish family.

Actually, the joke is a good one but it has been around for a while. I heard it with Amish, hillbillies, etc.

quote:

Originally posted by Ellis Prairie:
I heard it was a Amish family.

Me too:

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by everything they saw,but especially by two shiny,silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
"What is this father?" the boy asked. The father (never having seen an elevator)responded "I dont know. Ive never seen anything like this in my life."
Then an old woman in a wheel chair rolled up and hit the button. The doors opened and she rolled on. The doors closed after her.
Wide eyed the boy and his father watched circled numbers light up and then start to go back down again.
Then the walls opened again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.
Shocked,the father said to his son "Go get your mother!"


Vashper, keep posting!

quote:

Originally posted by Mark:
Vashper, keep posting!

I agree! Sometimes Vashper's translations make a joke feel like a riddle, but that adds to the fun.

Vashper, keep-up the good work!