An 84-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry's.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition."'
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars into her hand...
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."
Our needs change as we get older, and we tend to look for bargains...

That calls to mind a story. At our book club in our book store in Austin, we have signings + individual meetings with many authors. Well, we had Craig Johnson, author of the Walt Longmire series come by + before the actual signing with the public, we got to do a personal meet + greet upstairs.He told this story of when he was doing his book tour in Paris. He was sitting at an outdoor cafe + saw this gorgeous French woman walk by + of course stared. Now, women know when they are being looked at, but in America, they act like they don't notice; not so in France. He turned back around + was drinking his coffee when she comes closely up to him + in this husky voice purrs "Bon Jour". He said, you know, I speak 3 languages but all I could say was, "duh, duh, duh." She looked at me + said, "IDIOT" + walked away.

Thanks For The Smile!!

I am very heartily sorry to confess that I have arrived at a similar pass as the gentlemen first referenced ...

This was so funny and rings so true I had to plagiarize it to my distribution list of old farts.

GREAT....thanks

Like the old man I knew said, "At my age, I'd rather be promised, than offered."

When you get too old to cut the mustard you can still lick the jar.

As my old friend Willy use to say

When you get weak in the hips----You get strong in the lips!

Hip

I have a buddy of mine who just turned 89 + when he went to the doctor, the doc asked if he wanted any viagra. He said, hell no, that works, it's my knees that's killing me!

I don't use Viagra---I USE SPRAY STARCH !!!

Hip

^^^^^
FUNNY!