Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
> true?
> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste
> them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
> heart will not make you live longer. That's like saying you can extend
> the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
> Take a nap.
> **********************************************
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
> corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
> an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
> grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
> leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
> daily allowance of vegetable slop.
> **********************************************
> Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
> A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we
> all know, scientists divide everything in the world in to three
> categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and
> wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements,
> so that only leave one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer
> and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
> **********************************************
> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
> program?
> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain. Good.
> **********************************************
> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
> fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
> for you?
> **********************************************
> Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
> A: Thicker gravy.
> **********************************************
> Q: Will sit-ups prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
> A: Definitely not ! ! ! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
> should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
> **********************************************
> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> A: Are you crazy? HELLO .. . Cocoa beans .another vegetable ! It's the
> best feel-good food around.;
>