She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

Healthy-appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused autopsy.

Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

Skin: somewhat pale but present.

The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Actual instructions written by pharmacist on a bottle of vaginal suppositories:

"Insert one tablet vaginally by mouth."

All but the most talented require a partner for this.

A warning on a package of sleeping tablets. 'Caution, may cause drowsiness, do not operate machinery after taking this medication'



Cheers, Dave.

quote:

Originally posted by Sambar 9.3:
A warning on a package of sleeping tablets. 'Caution, may cause drowsiness, do not operate machinery after taking this medication'



Cheers, Dave.

Yup got that one myself.

Pelvic exam, done on the floor.