Subject: Euro English


> This is a good one for the English-language purists.
>
>
>
>
> Enjoy your English while you can....The European Commision has just
> announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the
> European Union rather than German,which was the other possibliity.
>
> As part of the negotiations,Her Majesty`s Government conceded that the
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
> phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year,"s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will
make
> the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of
> "k". This should klear the konfusion,and keyboards kan have one less
> letter.
>
> Ther will be publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
"ph"
> will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
> the stage wher more komplikated changes are possible.
>
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters that have
always
> been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl
mes of
> the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with
> "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> from vords kontaning "ou" and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav reil sensibl
> riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ez to
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru.

Love it.

That made my head hurt.